If happiness is our default mode,
Why are we not happy?
* Striving to be PARADOX-FREE since December 2017*
I've had a belief for most of my life, that I am no good with numbers or money.
I've also always loved clothes, "things" and when grocery shopping, the fanciest package please!
Growing up my mother always told me not to get a credit card.
When I started my salary position as a host on MTV, I figured it was the right time to get a credit card.
I would need it for travels, purchasing items online, as well as starting an iTunes account, etc.
My paycheque every 2 weeks was around 2,500, so was the rent for my bachelor suite.
I purchased a monthly streetcar pass and had a large phone bill every month.
I felt like a star, so I would go in the expensive health food stores and would get EVERYTHING.
I would buy whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
I always had more stuff than I needed and when I would bother to look at my banking details, I would feel sick, disappointed to see that this star only had $1,000 in her account.
How was this possible?
Ratings were dropping and employees were being let go.
I was getting paid to sit around and do nothing.
I was bored and not motivated or grounded enough to create a project of my own.
Hippie life was calling, I was out of there.
Unlike the people who were let go, I quit, so no severance pay, no unemployment insurance.
I made money for the next few month, through advertising for brands over my social media channels.
But as I continued to dive deeper into the "natural" lifestyle, with use of psychedelics on the regular, I didn't want to be on social media and I didn't want to work.
It would be an embarrassment to get a job in a cafe, I was a star after-all.
I was trying to engrave a belief that money would just come to me, I would manifest it.
I kept shopping without looking at prices.
One night, in a hammock, on top of a sacred mountain, on Salt Spring Island, on mushrooms, I proclaimed to my best friend, "I have a credit card, so fuck it, I'm going to Southeast Asia for 4 months with you!"
Yes, I had my credit card, but I had 0 money left.
I moved out of my cabin as it was costing me money.
Off to Asia I went.
RaineSkye Photography: www.facebook.com/raineskyephotography/
It was a move made with zero logic, but I don't regret, it's part of my story and hey, now I'm in debt and being forced to look at numbers!
When I returned "home", I didn't have a home anymore, I was out of money, spun from the travels and still refuse to work.
I was fucked.
Long long story, I convinced my parents to help me out, to buy me a van (a van with issue after issue, that was $8,000!) to live in. Eventually "moving" out and into my red Honda Civic, which was cheaper on gas. I eventually discovered a workshop in Peru that I thought could help me get out of my funk, so I got myself some underground work to make money quick. My flights to Peru were going to be $1,200 each way as this was happening last minute and the workshop was $2,290USD = $3,012 CAD - This trip was going to cost me at least $6,000 but I needed REAL help.
The workshop saved me from continuing down an endless path of confusion.
Against what I wanted, but knew I needed, I moved into the cabin on my parent's land on the island of Haida Gwaii and against everything I thought I would ever do... this former star got that job as a barista in the local coffee shop! With a mission to start being responsible and begin to pay back my debts.
My parent's have cleared the record of any money I should owe them.
When I started the job, my credit card was maxed $9,000.
I worked for a year @ $12.50 an hr plus surprisingly good tips, thank you Masset, BC and managed to pay back about $5,000 of my debt. For me, this was all accomplishments!
I got invited as a guest to the advanced workshop with my teacher in Peru, I had received life changing skills at my first one and deserved a vacation from this island, so I said YES, using tip money to pay for my flights.
I am now back in the cabin on my parent's land, with a mission to not only pay the rest of this credit card off, but to GET SMART about money! Not fear it. Not be all mystical and imaginary about it. FACE IT!
WHO'S WITH ME?
Starting today and checking in at the end of each month, I will be sharing openly, my journey, tips and calculating how far I've come and how far I have to go!
I had a friend once get super defensive when I asked her about her paycheque, she snapped, "You know it's really bad to talk about how much money you make."
So, let's get started... *opens online banking app*
February, 28, 2019:
Savings account: $28.35
Checking account: $440.62
Pre-Paid Visa (a gift to me): $100.00
Owing on Credit Card: $5,798.18
I currently have a monthly car insurance payment of: $152.81
A cellphone payment (I got a new Iphone recently so am paying for it still): $156.80
My parent's have offered me to live here for free, to help me get me back on track, so I have no other bills!!! JAAAA BLESS!
I eat dinner with my parent's but will still have grocery bills for what I purchase for my cabin.
I will be having a meeting with my bosses in a few days when they return from the coffee shop to decided how many days a week I will be working and at what pay rate. Stay tuned. Tips are slower at this time of year but tourist season will be kicking off in the next couple months and tips will be booming again.
As suggested by my older sister, I have downloaded the app "Monefy" and will be using it to keep track of where every Canadian nickel (we no longer use the penny) goes. I'm going to make this a fun game!
I've already began purchasing only what I need at the grocery store, and what I do need, I now look for a deal! For the first time, I put the bananas on the scale and pulled my calculator out to see how much each banana could cost!
I've taken on a cleaning job at my neighbour's Bed and Breakfast and have returned beer cans to the bottle depot!!
I'd love to hear tips you have for being super smart about money, please comment below!
Project, #BYEDEBT begins.... NOW! MYTHIC!
How to live a mythic life?
DITCH that belief that I am different and EMBRACE that we ARE the same.
Human beings just want to be loved, to love, to be one with.
LOVE whoever has hurt me.
SHARE this blog with 3 people that need to hear this today. 💜
I wrote a song, during the unraveling of my personas.
We recorded it in the jungle before I hopped on the plane home.
This is my first time hearing it!
We are all given this life, and with it comes the most exciting part of all, choosing who we want to be.
In grade 8 we are asked to choose what courses we will take in high-school, determining what schooling we will take after high-school, determining what we will do with our lives. No pressure.
I didn't have a plan.
I managed to land myself the dream position of being a MuchMusic VJ, followed by a host on MTV.
But I lost myself in the superficial parts of the job.
I then found myself swept into the ethereal realms of the spiritual community.
I was lost again.
WHO DO I WANT TO BE?
WHAT WILL TRULY MAKE ME HAPPY?
WHERE DO I WANNA GO?
I DON'T KNOW
WELL, LETS START AT THE START
I DON'T WANT TO BE FAKE
I DON'T WANT TO SIMPLY FOLLOW TRENDS
SHOPPING AT H&M 'TIL THE END
WITH FAKE HAIR
DEPRIVING MYSELF OF NUTRIENTS
LOOK AT MY CRYSTALS
NO I WON'T WORK
I'M GONNA MANIFEST ABUNDANCE
THAT'S NOT REAL
WHAT'S GOING TO MAKE ME FEEL?
I GOT CHOICE
AND I NO LONGER NEED TO BE A SLAVE TO MYSELF
I'M GOING TO USE MY VOICE
WHO DO I WANT TO BE?
WHAT WILL TRULY MAKE ME HAPPY?
WHERE DO I WANT TO GO?
NOW I KNOW.
I'm excited to share that I now have a vision for who I want to be and dreams will take me!
Understand and feel my lyrics.
I of course, am excited to pop in to an H&M as well as play in my feminine with fake nails.
I am very in tune with my spirituality, I have crystals and an understanding of the energy systems from different perspectives.
But I am so grateful to not be WRAPPED UP in these things anymore.
I feel more balanced, grounded than ever before.
Making my dreams come true!
I've always had the dream of having a song on iTunes, Spotify, etc.
Making it happen, stay tuned for release date!!
What if this song, makes the radio?
It's just the beginning!
Love, Phoebe Dykstra
Shoutout Leanne Pupeza of Wet Pussy Productions recording studio (https://www.facebook.com/WPPMythicMusic/?ref=br_rs) outside of Tarapoto, Peru, for literally leaping at the idea of recording this. Thank you for FEELING, to bring this to life. First of many. Rockstars!.
Thank you Todd Selak of Beauty and the Wind (https://www.facebook.com/beautyandthewind/) for coming up with this catchy AF guitar diddy, that will soon be penetrating the ears of the world, causing people to step up and live their mythic lives!
It’s a NEW day and a NEW week.
Today I am bravely closing chapters.
Today I trust, as I continue to write the story of my future.
I am on the waiting list at our island’s SPCA, to get a kitten! A symbolic action towards starting my own family.
Today I set up a litter box and a place for my new friend to eat and sleep.
I’ve been thinking I will name my kitten, Roca, like my small companion in Tarapoto. Roca = rock. Mi Roca, my rock. 💜
By request, I’ve flipped back a few chapters and brought #phoebesdailyoutfit into today.
Sending hugs and receiving hugs today.
Love, Phoebe Dykstra
After successfully completing my 15 day advanced self-development workshop in Peru,
Experience a sneak peek into my journey, video blog here!
I've now returned to being Queen of my house, my home, on the island of Haida Gwaii.
There have been ups and downs to everywhere I've considered to live.
With much deliberation, DAYS of "Pros and Cons" lists.
It made most logical sense for me at this time, to return here.
My own, warm, happy space, to live, free of charge, while I get my life in order.
I've got 1 year to get my credit card paid off and put some money in the bank.
I will be openly updating my process titled "Bye Debt!" here on my blog, on the last Thursday of every month.
This will inspire me to keep going.
This will inspire others, who have also formed negative beliefs around numbers and money.
Beliefs that are holding us back.
Come, root me on!
It's not about position, but about the direction we are headed.
Haida Gwaii is a remote location, with not much going on that is of interest to me.
BUT is the perfect destination to be creative and put tons of time and energy into My Mythic Life.
Who wouldn't want to be living surrounded by trees, on the ocean, but still have wifi to work!
I've also got more work to do on myself.
Inner preparation before my mythic man to shows up.
Want to see my mythic house?
I will give you a private look into my daily altar practice.
Come see our beach!
Want to step into my shoes?
My Mythic Life - Returning Home
I used to revolve my life around my daily outfits.
Sometimes two or three outfits a day, each being worn once, for a couple of hours, then “Bye!”
Now, as I step off the airplane, after a month in the jungle, and a 24 travel, I look down at my outfit and think...
I LOVE YOU!
These items are a part of me.
A part of my journey and each have their own story to tell.
This Peruvian sweater is new to my life.
At my most recent self development workshop in Peru, I asked my fellow Canadian friend, Jackie if she had an alpaca sweater I could wear, as it was cool somedays.
She brought me this and I wore it every chilly day.
I love the purple pop in the top and I feel like a new Phoebe in it.
I was brainstorming how I could get her to let me take it home to Canada and to my delight, she had folded it on my bed with a note that it was for me to keep!
It's a hug to me now and a reminder of where I've been.
Notice the XOXOXOXO pattern?
I LOVE my bag.
This bag was handmade by someone from the Shipibo tribe.
When a maestra or maestro runs their fingers along the lines, they can sing healing songs that have been given to them by dieting on plants.
I got this bag after my first Ayahuasca ceremony.
The zipper was broken, so my mom sewed a new one in for me.
I was going to buy a new Shipibo bag when I was in Peru but I decided to love this one even more, instead.
It carries memories, magic and has a new white jungle paint platter on it!
I LOVE these normal looking black leggings.
Because I choose to.
My mom brought them home for me, to keep me warm, they are Merino wool.
They are sporty but can be worn with anything.
They have a high-waist, and the brand is called "Paradox" which is funny for me as I am focussed, striving to live paradox free (not living in constant contradiction of my own beliefs).
I LOVE my Smartwool socks.
They are more costly than your average joe, sock, but they keep my feet happy!
The ones I love are “crew” cut and medium thickness with that extra padding on the bottom.
I love how they fit, they hug my ankle.
When you wear speciality socks, you take extra care so they don't get taken by sock monsters when you do the laundry.
I just found out today from a friend, that if, within 2 years, you aren’t happy with your socks, they will take them back.
I LOVE my Blundstone boots.
I resisted owning a pair for years because I was against leather.
My knees and ankles can be weak but for some reason still always chose to get cheap crap footwear.
A year ago I asked my dad if he would buy me a pair, I feel stable for the first time in my life!
As my song says “since you got me these boots, I feel like I can walk on my own.”
I've worn them every single day, I want to wear them inside my house, I take them for walks!
They have a paint splotch on them from when I painted my previous partner and I's bedroom.
They have new paint splatters on them from painting giant sculptures in Peru.
They are now mucky from getting stuck in the mud on a backroad in the jungle and I LOVE them.
In fact, I'm going to clean them up and give them a polish and a smooch, in thanks.
Today, on this #throwbackthursday I reminisce, with new perspective and love for all stages of My Mythic Life!
"I love something until it melts." - Mikis Hasson
Last year at this time, I had just completed the most heavy duty, life transformational workshop in the world.
I was settling in to my new home.
I was creating structured routine for myself here on Haida Gwaii.
After being lost and unsteady for years.
Now, I return to Peru.
To celebrate how far I've come and to dive in to this year's advanced self-development workshop.
Journey with me to the mythic land.
My Mythic Life - Returning to Tierra Mitica
Exactly 4 years ago.
Fresh from leaving my TV hosting position at Canada's MuchMusic and MTV.
Contiki brought me out (before the *boom* of social media influencers) on a trip to Peru.
A place I knew nothing about.
It's fun to see the flashback.
Knowing this was the first touch of a deep relationship that is forming with the land.
As I sway in this hammock, tied to two palms, under the stars, wet hair, fresh from the swimming pool.
Here in Peru, February 2019.
For my 2nd year in a row!
My Mythic Life
My trip to Peru with Contiki.