My signature hat under which I would hide.

Statues I carried from Bali that gave me no pride.

Paintings I did because I needed a “thing.”

Deer bones, Polar Bear fur, a Grey Horned Owl wing.

My kitty onesie I hugged myself in on cold nights.

Pipes with medicine resin, the smell brings old frights.

I feel each item, say thank you, toss it on the blaze.

For I cannot bring you forward into the coming days.

I found something real, no more need to grasp.

So I let these parts go, let the past be the past.

🔥

Feeling so proud!

I almost want to change my blog name from “My Mythic Life” to “Becomming Real” because that’s been the process for me over the past 7 months.

Putting into the fire, who I was pretending to be.
Having myself, through love, revealed.

This work, combined with coming out of my twenties, I turn 30 on Sunday, blessed up by the planetary alignments, fuck I’m starting to feel great!

I’ve been craving adventure, ceremony.

I almost flew off island (previous blog) but made the choice to stay and trust.
http://www.mymythiclife.com/home/sticking-to-the-plan

Yesterday after 6 am fitness class, I was drinking my morning coffee, snuggled up with Minnie (a 21 year old soul who I’ve called into my life to bring love, softening, nurturing, feminine energy around the home, to help me be in that role for my man.) when I got a message from my friend Vernon, asking if I wanted to go Strawberry picking.

Picking berries takes such patience and precense and is not my preferred fun BUT he has a friend with a truck who is going to give us a ride on the beach all the way out to Rose Spit, ON the “Day Out Of Time”!)... Fine.

Strawberry Fields Forever? Yes.
Did I literally have to lay down in the plants, calm my mind and look with precense as if I dropped a wedding ring? Also yes.
Was this challenging, frustrating and bringing up young stuff? Yes.
Did I feel a sense of what it was like to gather fruit for days and days to feed my family for the coming winter? A glimpse.
Did I feel my ancestors with me on the day where the veil is thinnest, on the land where creation was said to take place, at the edge of the world? Definitely yes.
Did I stay up there for 5+ hours, with only 2 naps? Yes!

Binge ate half a bucket but still got enough to make... get ready for it Gramma, JAM!

Real, wild strawberries I worked to pick, with the elements, alongside (well usually, cutting off to snatch up from his row!) my friend and teacher.

Made enough jam to give a jar to him, my mother and one for me and my man (who is going to be SO PROUD when he gets home! He said he hasn’t had Thimble berry jam since his Noni passed away so... guess I better get picking!)

Cheers to nobody being able to taste the squished bugs and hugs to my grandparents for shining their light down on me at this time!

I will feel more PROUD if I stick to my plan.

It’s July 23rd.

I drove down to the beach to have some time alone to clear my head and make some decisions.

We are in between the solar and the lunar eclipse.

I’ve been following the energy and it sounds like July 27 is to be, not a rebirth but literally a whole new life start. That’s what the astrologers say.

I try not to get too wrapped up in astrology as it’s a deep and swirly portal.

Sometimes I get pulled back into the search.

We just moved into Leo season a couple days ago.

I woke up this morning and dyed my hair for the first time since I chose to have my image stripped back to natural and real. I am trying the part on the other side. Symbolism for change.

I turn 30 at the end of the month.

My man is leaving on a 10 day work trip.

I want some new energy, new perspective. I want to leave the island for a week, come back refreshed.

I’ve been here for 7 months now.

I can have flights and a place to stay arranged and passes to Blessed Coast festival, to go DANCING in the forest to some of my favourite artists BUT something in me is going back and fourth on this.

Am I ready to go back into the spiritual community bubble?

I’m on a one year commitment of being away from that circle.

Would it truly make me HAPPY to go to this festival or am I just following temptations?

Would I feel more PROUD to stick with my plan?

I need an adventure.

Is one coming or do I need to create it?

I feel I’ve fallen out of my work.
I haven’t been writing much.
Or playing my ukulele.
Or singing.
Or doing art.

I have spent time and energy working at being the best woman for my man, making beautiful and clear spaces just for us!

I guess energy moves.

I am sitting writing now.

Craving a spiritual journey.

Maybe I organize with someone, a fast.
Sit silently for days.

Calling in a medicine circle but away from the spiritual community?

Why am I in search mode?
What’s coming?

Is it her?
Is it she I’m waiting for?
Stepping up for her?
For him, for us?

I posted on Instagram that I had stopped chewing my nails and the response I got by direct message, asking me how I did it was not surprising!

I, like many of you have chewed my nails since I was very young.
Tried the nasty tasting top coat.
Bribed with rewards.

It’s a strange phenomenon.

Why do our fingers find their way to our mouths when we are in certain energetic states?

When do you catch yourself doing it?

When I’m “mind-fucking”, thinking too hard, trying to figure something out, is when I catch myself.

Does chewing help me solve the problem? Or make me think farther and farther from the solution?

Well, thanks to willpower and knowing I am in control of my body, I figured out how to quit.

By, making the solid, unshakeable CHOICE to quit!

Here’s how!

As soon as I catch my finger in my mouth
I *SNAP* my finger
and say “STOP!”

As if you are your higher-self speaking to your physical self.
Your physical-self speaking to an entity that is controlling your hands and impulses.
The way you speak to your dog trying to eat your cat’s food.

*Snap*
“STOP!”

Discipline.

You can do it!!!

When people ask me about myself and my life, I tend to refer to it from a negative standpoint SO, I’ve decided to WRITE out my journey so far, from a perspective of seeing the BEAUTY that it truly has been!

This process brought me to tears.

~~~

Hi, I’m Phoebe Dykstra.

I grew up in the beautiful prairies of Manitoba on my parent’s dairy farm.
I can’t think of a more perfect land to grow up on! We had cats and kittens and dogs and ducks and a horse, a goat, (a dang pelican at one point!), and of course big black & white cows! We had hot, green summers where we cannonballed into the pool and the whitest coldest winters you could imagine, where my dad would build us hay forts and toboggan slides with the tractor!

I was super into pop culture!
It was my DREAM to become a MuchMusic VJ!
To get to be my fun self, on TV like a star, talking about pop music to all of Canada!

At age 21, I was HIRED!

I was now living in downtown Toronto, getting dressed up, writing scripts for myself, hosting live television shows and hanging out with celebrities!

BUT I was loosing myself in the image.

Was this who I truly was?
There must be more to life!

I left my dream position as a MuchMusic / MTV Canada host.

I began to soul search.

I moved to breathtaking Salt Spring Island, BC, where my older sister lived.

Thanks to Instagram promotion work, I went to Peru for 10 days!

I backpacked Asia with my best friend! (On my credit card, I’m still paying for this one.)
I got to experience Thailand! Cambodia! Laos! Bali, Indonesia!

I lived up and down the West Coast, and all over California in my car!
Sleeping in the Redwoods, on the crashing waves in Oregon, I went to music festivals where I danced until the sun came up and heck, into the day! I saw what you can only feel and felt what you can only see!

But I still wasn’t me.

I turned 29.
The soul searching needed to go deeper!

I signed myself up for under the table work as a WEED TRIMMER! The job was extremely challenging mentally but it was the perfect preparation for what was to come!

I made enough money to get myself to the most INTENSIVE, life transformational 12 day workshop in Peru, where I got to drink master plant brew, Ayahuasca, with real Shipibo shamans!

I was STRIPPED of all things fake!

The unravelling, of the tangled mess of illusion I had been living in, was thick, sticky, scary and messy.

I flew myself to the edge of the world, the “island of the people”, Haida Gwaii, to be with my most amazing and loving, best friend, my mother!

I am currently enjoying life, feeling at HOME with my most AMAZING and REAL man!
I’ve started my first garden here in Old Masset! I am teaching myself to play the Baritone Ukulele, I am writing and singing songs! I am learning about plants and birds! I work at the local coffee shop, with the best people, making fancy lattés for our community and visitors!

I turn 30 in 2 weeks and I feel like a WOMAN!

I’m SO grateful for all my experiences and am SO excited for what’s NEXT!!!!!

~~~

I tend to run
Oh I tend to run
Oh I tend to run

But I’m meant to fly
Oh I’m meant to fly
Ohhh I’m meant to fly

I feel the wind
Oh I feel the wind
Over the sea

So I ask the Barn Swallow to
Help me
He does a fancy twirl and flip
T-R-U-S-T

So I ask Robin to
Show me
She lifts up her chest
P-R-I-D-E

So I ask the Dove to
Show me
She whispers back to me
L-O-V-E

But how do I fly?
How do I reach the sky?
How do I soar?
Reach my dreams and more?

I feel the wind
Oh I feel the wind
Over the trees

So I beg Eagle to
Guide me
He flaps his wings
Turns away and says
“Just let it be”

But how do I fly?
How do I reach the sky?
How do I soar?
Reach my dreams and more?

I feel the wind
Oh I feel the wind
Over the sea

So I ask Raven
Desperately...

He looks at me
Puts out his wing and says
“Come fly with me!”

I used to run
Oh I used to run
Oh I used to run

But together, we can flyyyyyyy!!!!

After I wrote and performed a song for my dad on Father’s Day... I figured I better buckle down and create something from my heart for my mom on her birthday! 🎂