If happiness is our default mode,
Why are we not happy?
* Striving to be PARADOX-FREE since December 2017*
The Perspectives sit with former activist / vegan, Phoebe Dykstra, to discuss the recent choices she’s made surrounding her health and happiness!
We saw on a recent Instagram story of yours that you call yourself an “ex-vegan” is this true?
It is true, yes.
You went vegetarian 13 years ago, then vegan, when did you start eating eggs, dairy and meat again?
Just over one year ago.
This is very interesting, why the change?
I didn’t want to put animal byproducts in my body, because of the vegetarian / vegan belief I had taken on.
I was in paradox because I knew that I needed to.
I didn't feel "all there" in my mind, I felt malnourished.
I had a restrictive and judgmental attitude towards my very self and everyone else.
This energy was causing disharmony.
Was this a hard transition, from hard-core vegan to now enjoyer of everything in moderation?
Yes, of course.
But I won’t let myself live a life of guilt and shame, worry, anger and unhappiness.
I don't want to live in a box of restriction and judgement.
It's always a challenge at first, when choosing new beliefs, so, when I mind f*ck over what or “who” I’m going to eat, I come back to my new conscious choice, me.
I am healthier, happier, and more connected to my body than I have been my 30 years.
I am able to go anywhere and say "YES" when I am offered something.
I can travel anywhere and no longer worry about where I will eat!
You have been the face of campaigns against slaughter houses, worked with PETA, have made friends with famous people doing big and positive things for the animals and our planet. Your entire left arm permanently promotes “Friends Not Food.” Your fans/followers have only ever known you as being a vegetarian/vegan. What message do you have for the thousands you have inspired?
The same message I have for myself.
“Thank you for listening deeply, to what is true for YOU.”
We know that you live on an island, surrounded by people who have been hunting and gathering their whole lives, do you see yourself going out with anyone to bring home dinner?
I will leave that to them, it's who they are. I have though helped with canning salmon, when gifted fish.
Do you think you’ll ever be spotted at McDonald’s?
It's still a bit weird, but I ate at McDonalds in the airport in Mexico. It would be fun to order a happy meal!
Thank you Phoebe. We have one final question, do you think this is forever or could you see yourself returning to a plant-based diet?
I am forever transforming, but this is where I am at today.
Moving forward, I will continue to make choices based on my health, my happiness and trusting life.
I performed at my 2nd open-mic a few nights ago here in my hometown Masset on Haida Gwaii!
After performing at the open-mic last month for my 1st time, I felt proud! I told myself that I would perform again at this one and along with me I’d bring a new song!
Here I go!
I Love Haida Gwaii
I wanted to try something new!
I chose to try “spoken word poetry” with my drum that my Haida teacher Vernon Williams and I together JUST made, days before!
Also inspired to drop a relevant quote by Mikis Hasson!
Write Out Your Dream
I called Vernon up, he called his son up and together we drummed and sang together for our first time!
A performance wouldn’t be a performance without playing my hit!
Having more and more fun with this song for my man...
Pride = HAPPINESS!
Not happy? What can you do to make yourself proud?
Plan to make my next performance even more mythic than this one!!!
BOOOM SHAKALAKA BOOM SHAKALAKA BOOM!!!!!!
But can words describe
The feeling I’ve known forever inside
Of where I’ll go
Of who I will be
Of who’s hearts and lives will be affected by me
I know there’s a drum
The signs have been there
There’s dancing, singing
I’m on the main-stage
No more playing small
For this time it’s my name they will call!
But there not there for me
They’ve come to heal
I am just the reflection they see
But yes, Phoebe Dykstra THE GREAT goes down in history
I take on the spirit of my higher-self
For they may not like what they see
Together we will bring up and clear out
The experience will be a mystery
They will sing along
It’s the realest performance they ever see
I will be in my glory
Happy as can be!
Growing up my family would take me to Red Lobster on my birthday every year.
It hurt me seeing the lobster alive in the tank but I loved to eat them when they arrived on my plate.
I became vegetarian / vegan for 12 years.
I’m working hard at changing my belief systems.
I now live on First Nation’s land.
The oceans have been providing nourishment to the local people on Haida Gwaii for thousands of years.
I understand and feel this.
I still get in paradox though and have inklings of my old beliefs about killing animals pop up.
I will eat this crab.
I will not watch it die.
There’s the paradox.
I will get to a place of being able to hold the crestation, thank him for his life and then place him in the boiling pot of water.
It will then transform.
From friend to food.
I will crack “it” open, dip it in hot butter and do a happy dance because YUM!
I invite you to close your eyes
As I lay in middle Shavasana
A bolster pushed up to my bum
My legs on top, with my feet together
Knees spread apart
We let go
A deep breath in, filling up our lungs
A sigh of release with our exhale
We are opening our hips
Mine hang heavy and open
A tiny bubble, tangled deep amongst the muscles and tissues of my inner hip, pops.
“I choose you”
Another one pops
I can feel him
“I choose you”
I sink deeper
“I choose you”
I take a huge sip of air
“I choose you”
Another bubble pops
The search is over
My partner has just left to go to his first 2 weeks of school. He will return for 2 weeks then be gone for another 2 weeks of school. This will be his flow until March.
I’m working at the local coffee shop.
4 months and I will have completed my committed one year living on Haida Gwaii, working in the service industry.
I will be returning to Peru for my own schooling at Happiness Research Centre, Tierra Mitica.
It’s starting to get wet and cold here again.
My man just bought me and Minnie, our 21 year old Siamese cat friend, a bomb heater. We are cozied up in our living room.
This is heaven.
Our teeny succulent that Shaun’s cousin Captain gifted to us to plant inside of our new kitchen table has become a big mamma! She’s got 6 full grown succulent babies of her own now. I hold this plant close to my heart as it is a representation of the time my man and I have been together, a representation of our growing love.
I got a spider plant cutting from my work, she’s just been planted in her own soil. She loves it!
I’ve also just got a cutting of a rubber plant! They grow really big, I look forward to our jungle baby’s growth!
I’m happy and proud to say that after 5 months of trying to grow Haida tobacco, I finally have 3 plants that are on their way to becoming strong, mighty medicine!
I wrote them a song to help them grow.
“This is a song for Tobacco
Hey Ya Hey Ya Hey Ya Hey Ya Yo
This is a song for Tobacco
Hey Ya Hey Ya Hey Ya Hey Ya Yo
Your keeping our roots down into the ground.
Your keeping our head high up in the sky.
You’re keeping our hearrrrrrrrt open wide.
Keeping our hearrrrrrrrt open wide.
This is a song for Tobacco.
Hey Ya Hey Ya Hey Ya Hey Yaaaaa Yo.”
I’m giving, growing my hair out a shot!
My man would love me bald, in a garbage bag but he’s curious to see me with long hair, I’m wanting to feel more feminine and haven’t had long hair that was worn natural and tasteful, for as long as I can remember so... into the awkward stages I go!
I quit chewing my nails too, after 25 years of this habit. My man just asked me one day “why do you do that?” “It’s been a habit for most of my life.” I decided in that moment to make the choice to quit. No exceptions. Every time I would go to chew (which I noticed was when I was trying to decide what to wear or was anxious or trying to make a choice.) I would snap that finger and tell the habitual energy to “STOP!” Now I have woman nails, *bow chicka wow wow!* - turns out these things are built in tools, not just for painting hearts on, although I do this also!
I feel very different today.
It is a fresh new moon.
I am so grateful to love my own company.
Yum, the last of this peanut butter & chocolate, cashew ice-cream is really hitting the spot.
I’m glad Shaun picked it off the shelf for me even when I said “no” to wanting ice-cream in the moment. He is love, and pretty darn wise, I am working to reprogram myself to saying “YES!” in all the moments he asks if I want or need something! He always knows and sometimes my mind is over cluttered so, best to just TRUST and say YES, in pleasure!
The sun is beaming in the window.
*Boom* - someone shot a gun.
The island is over populated with Starling birds, they aren’t originally from here and are pesky so people don’t like them.
I just bought my first copy of Vogue magazine. I’ve always loved rich, fancy, finer things. The hippie Phoebe I played for the last few years, that was rebelling against the media world I was formerly involved in, was tricked into believing all that stuff was BAD BAD BAD. I’m remembering I love it!!! Thanks to Shaun’s 19 year old daughter, I now wear Prada perfume! I still use essential oils too! Life is about enjoying it all!
I love bird watching out the window, people watching too.
I write and sing and dance and ponder at this window.
Ive finished 5 eagle wing fans.
Soon I’ll have my first drum!