December 13, 2017

I'm back in Canada. 
Waiting for Sunday to come, where I will be loading up my belongings that I have had stored at my friend Pia's house here in Vancouver, since April.
I will be making a 2.5 day trek (2 nights on the ferry) to my mom's home on Haida Gwaii. 
I have made the decision to move in to the cabin on my parent's land, to gain some stability in my life. 

I have been on quite the self-discovery journey! 
Flowing around, gypsy style, without a job or sense of direction, since I quit my job at MTV in Toronto. 

It has been suggested by my teacher, Mikis, to get a job in the service industry. 
For me, moving to be with my mother, on a quiet island, without friends (who do I even relate to anymore?) in a house for more than a couple weeks and getting a normal job, is where my biggest resistance lies. 

So, I'm going straight for it!

I'm actually excited to have a permanent address to call home! Set up my alter, purge of my old things and set up what feels "new Phoebe" to me. 
I'm excited to have a job with structure, routine!
It will be really good for me to be around other people. 
I'm applying at the coffee shop. "Good morning, what can I get for you Joe? Your regular?" Yes!
I actually wish I could start tomorrow! 
Today!

There are a million plus sides to making this move. 
We need reference points to thrive. 
A home, a job, can my partner also be there waiting for me? 
Heyyyyyy!

I'm coming back down to Earth, after being in la la land for the past years. 
Daily doses of mind-altering plant substances, being an un-healthy vegan, living off a credit card, sleeping in my Honda Civic. 
My mother will be embarrassed to read this, she may want me to delete this blog post. 
I feel it's important to share my journey. 
My parents have done beyond everything in their wildest power, with TREMENDOUS love and sacrifice, to help me. 
On this occasion and every other deep dark rut I've gotten myself into in this life!

This is just how my journey has had to go. 

Look, Ed Sheeran used to be homeless, with a girlfriend who was prostituting herself. 
Look at him now!

Hopefully continuing to share my voice and my journey, will take me somewhere I am able to share my experience with millions of other people too!

One foot in front of the other.

In TRUST,
Phoebe Dykstra