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My partner Shaun casually mentioned it would be “the dream” to come in from work to a meal of deer, cooked by his hunny. Today I’ve been slaying dragons left and right!!!! A piece of deer that Shaun had hunted (my sexy provider!!!!) earlier in the year, showed up in our kitchen sink today as we planned to have this for supper. I washed dishes and tidied up the kitchen, while watching my man mow the lawn outside. The piece of deer meat sat there screaming at me with opportunity to slay more, BIG dragons. I figured I’d make the salad... Maybe HE’D want to make the deer... There’s no way I can do it, I wouldn’t be able to focus long enough. I wouldn’t be able to sit and read how on google, there’s too many distractions. I don’t know how to cook! I get anxiety in the kitchen! I can’t do this! UGH! I’ll ask my mom. She explains simply how to do a roast. But.... but... My past eating disorder, restricting, control demons try to block me. 12 years of vegetarianism blow dark smog at my neck and scream, “Phoebe! It’s a dead animal!” The blood splatters on the wall as I remove it from the bag. I can see a big blue vein. “Man, what a dream it would be to come in after work to a cooked meal of deer, made by my hunny!” DAMNIT! I put it in the frying pan. I thank the deer for nourishing us. Thank you deer for this opportunity to face my fears. For this opportunity to feel proud! Thank you deer for the opportunity to show my love in this way! 
2 Comments
Jul
5/14/2018 01:23:24 pm
How was it?
Paige
5/14/2018 08:39:10 pm
I was also a vegetarian for a long time, now with a hunter that has explained and shown a different way of getting and appreciating meat. It's a process! Proud of you! Leave a Reply. |
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