Dragon Slayer

I knew I needed to offer to perform some of my writing, the moment the fundraiser was announced, but nah, I ignored my gut. Whenever the organizer would make a post about it, my tummy would flip and I knew what I was supposed to do.

I got a Facebook message asking if I could volunteer with set up or take down, I ignored the message and it fucked with me for days.

“Phoebe, do you want to attend the fundraiser together?”
“I don’t know if I’m going.”

PHOEBE!!!! OFFER YOUR VOICE!!!!!!

I’ve only shared my writing (besides my scripts on television for 4 years!) 2 times, both at the library’s open-mic, which by the way, the next one is in 2 days and I still don’t have new material ready!

I was scared.

I’m taking a nap the night before and I hear a knock on my door, it’s my neighbour bringing me some fresh halibut! I ask her if she is going to the fundraiser.
“Are you performing?” she asks.
Damnit!

PHOEBE!

I wrap and freeze the halibut then get started on planning my set.
I message the organizer and offer to volunteer my voice with a couple poems and a song.
She says “Cool, sure!”

It’s official.
No turning back.

I’m confident in my living room, I’ve got my writing memorized.

I get to the hall and feel dizzy, the hall is packed with familiar faces on people I barely know.

I can’t do this.
How can I go in front of these people and share what’s in my heart if I can hardly ask them how their day was.

Is my biggest fear getting up on stage or is my biggest fear being a part of the community?

Maybe I can give the organizer a donation and I can leave.
Phoebe!
You committed!

Maybe I’ll change my whole set.

I bend over to let the blood flow to my head.
The dragons are winning.

I mash a sugary donut in whip cream and jam and shove it in my face.
The dragons are winning.

The auction is about to start and I haven’t even bought my tickets.
I stuff my tickets in the bag for the painting I love.

“Phoebe!”

My name is drawn, I win the painting!

The Universe is rewarding me for my bravery, I feel supported, I feel lucky, I open up!

The man who did the painting, opens the night of performances with his guitar and song, he sings of Ayahuasca medicina, I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

I get up in front of our community, have the spotlight put on me and away I go, into my zone!

*The fundraiser raised the money they need to hire a helicopter to fly over the island, showing the most recent clear cuts.