Lost & Found

What do I wanna be?
What will truly make me happy?
Where do I wanna go?
I don’t know!

Well let’s start at the start.

I don’t wanna be fake.
I don’t want to simply follow trends.
Shopping at H&M ‘til the end.
Fake hair, fake nails, fake smile.
Cutting myself trying to mend.
Starve myself, depriving myself of nutrients.
Going vegan.
Look at my crystals, chakras!
No I won’t work, I’m going to manifest abundance!
Be patient, flow.
How come I don’t feel good, I don’t know!

What do I wanna be?
What will truly make me happy?
Where do I wanna go?
I don’t know!

Eat mushrooms, eat acid, smoke DMT.
Travel the world.
Disconnect from reality.
It will lead me to the jungle.
To drink Ayahuasca at Tierra Mitica.
Now I know.
I no longer need to be a slave to myself.

I’m going to use my voice!
I’m going to get a job, I’m going to work really hard!
I’m going to get a home.
I’m going to choose a man to love!
I’m going to be happy!
I’m going to be real!
I’m going to truly, truly, feel!

What do I wanna be?
What will truly make me happy?
Where do I wanna go?
Now I know!

- Phoebe Dykstra