I have been experiencing a lot of mind fuck over releasing a song that I have written.
The temptation to fully back out, self sabotage.
I WILL NOT LISTEN TO VOICES INSIDE OR OUTSIDE OF ME THAT TELL ME WHO I CANNOT BE OR WHAT I CANNOT DO.
I wrote "Who Do I Want To Be?" 1 year ago, in the thick of a life transformational workshop in Peru.
I was lost in every way.
I had ZERO direction, I didn't know where I wanted to go.
I was fucked, nothing could make me happy.
Who did I want to be?
In life I had tried on every mask.
As most of you know, I wore the MTV host, wannabe celebrity mask, completely buried by materialism.
I left that life to find myself, but found myself completely buried in the spirituality, New Age trend.
I didn't know yet who I wanted to be, but I was getting somewhere, I now knew what I DIDN'T want to be, a start, and that, was FAKE.
AND, I knew I want to use my voice!
Fast forward 1 year, I return to Peru for an advanced workshop, to work with my teacher to help me with my confidence, to make a CHOICE of where it is I want to go.
After 15 days of digging inside myself, writing, I CHOSE MY LIGHTHOUSE, my direction, my path!
To my surprise, my song I had written, "Who Do I Want To Be?" came back to me and now made perfect sense!
"Who Do I Want To Be?" is the theme song for MY MYTHIC LIFE!
BING BANG BOOM! We must record this here!
We recorded in the jungle studio, before I ran off to catch my plane home to Haida Gwaii.
I fully TRUST Leanne of Wet Pussy Productions, so off I went, my 1st song, in her hands!
After listening to this song, I know you are going to have a zillion questions, they are flooding in my Instagram inbox already.
I will get to all your questions, but for now I need to say that, the answer, to "Who Do I Want To Be?" is... THE REAL PHOEBE DYKSTRA! Not the person who has been a slave to her subconscious beliefs about needing to be "cool". Phoebe Dykstra with 100% conscious CHOICE of who she wants to be! I want to be HAPPY! I want to live the most mythical life that some would think only exists in the books. I want to go down in history for being Phoebe Dykstra The Great, who has shaken the world, inspired the people by being open and true to myself. Always transforming, BOLD, BRAVE!
I fully believe, *pushes aside the old beliefs, trying to tell me I can't do it* I can achieve whatever I dream!
Inch by inch, I am moving in the direction of where it is I want to be.
Like the hummingbird, I will enjoy the ride!
THIS IS A SONG OF TRANSFORMATION.
HAVE FUN WITH IT!
Who Do I Want to Be? - Single by Phoebe Dykstra
You'll notice that this song is only 2:10... I wonder... is there more to unfold?
Love, Phoebe Dykstra
P.S. Who do YOU want to be?