It’s Sunday. My partner has just left to go to his first 2 weeks of school. He will return for 2 weeks then be gone for another 2 weeks of school. This will be his flow until March. I’m working at the local coffee shop. 4 months and I will have completed my committed one year living on Haida Gwaii, working in the service industry. I will be returning to Peru for my own schooling at Happiness Research Centre, Tierra Mitica. It’s starting to get wet and cold here again. My man just bought me and Minnie, our 21 year old Siamese cat friend, a bomb heater. We are cozied up in our living room. This is heaven. Our teeny succulent that Shaun’s cousin Captain gifted to us to plant inside of our new kitchen table has become a big mamma! She’s got 6 full grown succulent babies of her own now. I hold this plant close to my heart as it is a representation of the time my man and I have been together, a representation of our growing love. I got a spider plant cutting from my work, she’s just been planted in her own soil. She loves it! I’ve also just got a cutting of a rubber plant! They grow really big, I look forward to our jungle baby’s growth! I’m happy and proud to say that after 5 months of trying to grow Haida tobacco, I finally have 3 plants that are on their way to becoming strong, mighty medicine! I wrote them a song to help them grow. “This is a song for Tobacco Hey Ya Hey Ya Hey Ya Hey Ya Yo This is a song for Tobacco Hey Ya Hey Ya Hey Ya Hey Ya Yo Your keeping our roots down into the ground. Your keeping our head high up in the sky. You’re keeping our hearrrrrrrrt open wide. Keeping our hearrrrrrrrt open wide. This is a song for Tobacco. Hey Ya Hey Ya Hey Ya Hey Yaaaaa Yo.” I’m giving, growing my hair out a shot! My man would love me bald, in a garbage bag but he’s curious to see me with long hair, I’m wanting to feel more feminine and haven’t had long hair that was worn natural and tasteful, for as long as I can remember so... into the awkward stages I go! I quit chewing my nails too, after 25 years of this habit. My man just asked me one day “why do you do that?” “It’s been a habit for most of my life.” I decided in that moment to make the choice to quit. No exceptions. Every time I would go to chew (which I noticed was when I was trying to decide what to wear or was anxious or trying to make a choice.) I would snap that finger and tell the habitual energy to “STOP!” Now I have woman nails, *bow chicka wow wow!* - turns out these things are built in tools, not just for painting hearts on, although I do this also! I feel very different today. It is a fresh new moon. I am so grateful to love my own company. Yum, the last of this peanut butter & chocolate, cashew ice-cream is really hitting the spot. I’m glad Shaun picked it off the shelf for me even when I said “no” to wanting ice-cream in the moment. He is love, and pretty darn wise, I am working to reprogram myself to saying “YES!” in all the moments he asks if I want or need something! He always knows and sometimes my mind is over cluttered so, best to just TRUST and say YES, in pleasure! The sun is beaming in the window. Sun showers! *Boom* - someone shot a gun. The island is over populated with Starling birds, they aren’t originally from here and are pesky so people don’t like them. I just bought my first copy of Vogue magazine. I’ve always loved rich, fancy, finer things. The hippie Phoebe I played for the last few years, that was rebelling against the media world I was formerly involved in, was tricked into believing all that stuff was BAD BAD BAD. I’m remembering I love it!!! Thanks to Shaun’s 19 year old daughter, I now wear Prada perfume! I still use essential oils too! Life is about enjoying it all! I love bird watching out the window, people watching too.
I write and sing and dance and ponder at this window. Ive finished 5 eagle wing fans. Soon I’ll have my first drum!
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