I'm so sick of women in influential positions, glorifying their struggles, making "I have it so hard" the new aspiration! It's crap. Give yourself a hug, a smooch on the back of your hands, remind yourself who you are, dust your shoulders off and stand up! First for yourself, that little girl inside of you that deserves better, and your sisters around the world.
I will not allow myself to slip into this trend of victimhood mentality, even if the media is shoving it down my throat with sprinkles on top.
I finished my 1st CLAY ‘Heart Bloom’ mandala and I could not be more proud!
The ability to hold a piece of my heart in my hands, is what I have been searching around the world and deep inside to find.
Little Phoebe & my Gramma Rose would be so proud. In fact, I think they were the ones whispering in my ear, with what step to take next & reminding me to feel.
When it FINALLY clicks that I AM ENOUGH, and everything within and outside of me in EVERY AND ALL WAYS, is always enough!
“Phoebe, you are too hard on yourself.”
“What! Phoebe, you are amazing!”
“Phoebe, you are an inspiration to thousands!”
“Phoebe, why is nothing ever good enough?”
“Phoebe, everyone can see how talented you are, but yourself!”
“Phoebe, why does everything have to be so extreme?”
“Phoebe, can’t you chill?”
“Phoebe, do you really need more tattoos?”
“Phoebe, you live the dream life, what more do you want?””
“Phoebe, we love you, why don’t you believe us?”
“Phoebe, why are you so hard on us?”
HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH?
How much is enough when your bar goes up, with every achievement? How much is enough when you never set yourself a bar?
I have been chasing myself around with a whip and no resting place in sight.
How much is enough?
I’ve been told over and over and over, but with this wonderful new belief (I discovered in Mikis Hasson’s book “Choice Os - The Path To Homodelectus”) it finally clicked!
🌟 WHATEVER IS HERE IS ALWAYS ENOUGH! 🌟
I looked at myself in the mirror and everything about me was beautiful.
I was alive!
My first Dutch braid I just weaved into my hair, I no longer wanted to rip out because it was ugly. I now cried at it’s glory.
I picked up my sweet Ukulele, Kala, and I could play! I could sing!
I went into the living room and my husband, my best friend, was laying on the couch, but now, he was an angel.
I can feel life inside and around me.
I can feel love for the people in my world!
I am GRATEFUL that I have lived with this dragon for most of my life, for it has made me who I am. I am MAGNIFICENT because I searched for that golden place that I thought existed. I pushed myself into areas, that most will never dare, but now...
I AM FREE.
(what a relief.)
South African inspired ‘Heart Bloom’ piece for my mother-in-love.
I’m pleased with how I was able to really feel and capture the essence of this land and her heart, through my own.
Hubby and I ventured out to the #Karoo in South Africa to photograph his latest painting exhibit 'kaarte van die Karoo' that he painted on this very land, years prior.
He reveals a new painting everyday on his Instagram page:
Hoping to sell the collection of 35 paintings to one lucky buyer!
Here are some behind the scenes from our fun, dusty, day in the sun.
First day of 2021 and we are packed, heading out to #karoo to see zebra, springbok & photograph my husband‘s next painting exhibit! Life is gooooooood! ☀️
It’s time to say goodbye to my “Phoebe Dykstra” FB fan-page.
I thought long and hard about whether I should delete it, but I have decided to let it live on, in honour of living out my teenage dreams. 🌟
Like Tarzan, I must fully let go of one rope, before I can catch the next. In mid-air I trust.
Bye Bye https://bit.ly/2N7awrr
A lot has changed in the past 5 years, just about every part of my belief system, to begin with! But before I could get into that business, I needed to be opened up, I needed to be shaken up, I needed to get uncomfortable, I needed to let go. I’d say, beyond moving to the very special little island of Salt Spring in Canada, straight from being a tv star in Toronto, I date the start of my transformational journey back to my backpacking trip through South East Asia. “I always have everything I need” - one of the greatest lessons I learned from this particular journey, Cambodia being the place that made me feel the deepest. I remember my yoga / meditation retreat at Hariharalaya, I’m sure I was the most unlikely to be able to quiet my mind, this was a struggle, still is. I found the silent mornings, to be my most memorable still points, I remember barefoot bike rides up the dusty back road on free time, I remember the beautiful floppy eared cattle, and giggling children I met on the road. I remember marking Hariharalaya as a place I would return to one day, again visiting feeling the ancient temple ruins in the surrounding area. I’ve noticed the instagram popular page flooded with yoga and meditation retreats taking place all over the world, over the past years, so I wanted to make this post to share that, of all the places I have travelled for specifically the calm of yoga / meditation / detox (my hardcore self development work is something else), Cambodia with my friend Joel at IG: @Hariharalaya is my most highly recommended. They are running a contest right now, on Instagram to win a free retreat with them, so I hope this post reaches someone that feels called to attend!
Photos by the INCREDIBLE Raine Skye IG: @_raine.skye_
He stretched me a fresh canvas, over one of his round frames, gave me instructions on how to use oil paints, then he told me just to feel. When he left the room, I put the paint brush in my left, non dominant hand, dipped the brush into white and began to sob. I tried to reach the brush to the canvas for my first mark, but there was something trying to stop me, the force was powerful, my body collapsed. I picked the brush up again, this time, my sword in my right. I got the brush to the canvas and began to paint a white circle, as I did, everything went black. I cried and grunted, holding back my screams. Once I had drained most of the emotion out, I sat up, to witness the negative voices present in the room. They were breathing at my neck, swirling around my head, screeching in my face, trying to get me. With "I CHOOSE WHO I AM" focussed into the stroke, I completed my first circle.
Here is a look into my process.