Sticking to the plan.

I will feel more PROUD if I stick to my plan.

It’s July 23rd.

I drove down to the beach to have some time alone to clear my head and make some decisions.

We are in between the solar and the lunar eclipse.

I’ve been following the energy and it sounds like July 27 is to be, not a rebirth but literally a whole new life start. That’s what the astrologers say.

I try not to get too wrapped up in astrology as it’s a deep and swirly portal.

Sometimes I get pulled back into the search.

We just moved into Leo season a couple days ago.

I woke up this morning and dyed my hair for the first time since I chose to have my image stripped back to natural and real. I am trying the part on the other side. Symbolism for change.

I turn 30 at the end of the month.

My man is leaving on a 10 day work trip.

I want some new energy, new perspective. I want to leave the island for a week, come back refreshed.

I’ve been here for 7 months now.

I can have flights and a place to stay arranged and passes to Blessed Coast festival, to go DANCING in the forest to some of my favourite artists BUT something in me is going back and fourth on this.

Am I ready to go back into the spiritual community bubble?

I’m on a one year commitment of being away from that circle.

Would it truly make me HAPPY to go to this festival or am I just following temptations?

Would I feel more PROUD to stick with my plan?

I need an adventure.

Is one coming or do I need to create it?

I feel I’ve fallen out of my work.
I haven’t been writing much.
Or playing my ukulele.
Or singing.
Or doing art.

I have spent time and energy working at being the best woman for my man, making beautiful and clear spaces just for us!

I guess energy moves.

I am sitting writing now.

Craving a spiritual journey.

Maybe I organize with someone, a fast.
Sit silently for days.

Calling in a medicine circle but away from the spiritual community?

Why am I in search mode?
What’s coming?

Is it her?
Is it she I’m waiting for?
Stepping up for her?
For him, for us?

I will feel more PROUD if I stick to my plan.