I was feeling a bit like a lost puppy today.
In need of real human companionship.
Engagement to get me out of my head.
Scrolling through Instagram was only making me feel more alone.
I left my cabin with the intention of finding human friends in town.
The things I shy away from most.
Great! Let’s go deep!
I know I need to break past this.
I get to town and head into the grocery store.
An awkward and vulnerable...
A lengthy 20 seconds of small talk happens as my being is getting hooked and clawed away in fear.
“We should hang out sometime!”
*Turns and hides down the cookie isle.*
I spot my 2nd chance.
Another girl I have met in passing, who seems nice, walks into the grocery store.
A woman who is an ex co-worker smiles, “Hello.”
As I pretend to be in deep contemplation over which granola bars to get.
I see the girl who I think is nice, she’s in the freezer isle.
Something pulls me up to her...
“I need a girl hug.”
“How are you doing?”
“Uhhh... I’m okay... thanks for the hug, bye.”
*runs off and quickly gets in the check out line*
I flop into my car.
I am so disappointed in myself.
I pull out my strawberries and eat them with the door open in hopes someone would come up to me and want to talk...
I can’t imagine I look very inviting.
I remember I am to call my girlfriend Tanis today.
A phone call with a friend, another something I prefer to avoid.
BUT she had news that I was excited to hear about.
I get myself out of the cement parking lot and decide to drive and park somewhere near flowers.
Symbolism of beauty, for this important call.
On the call, I tell Tanis what had just happened at the store and she gives me a challenge...
To make 1 new girlfriend!
She says that she also spends all her time at home / with her man and that she too will make a girlfriend!
But, challenge accepted!
We finish up our call and I decide to go where I know I will know someone.
The coffee shop!
I order a coffee and sit in the window.
My back is towards anyone that might try to engage and I am pretending to be interested in the magazine I have placed in front of me...
Outside the window I spot a lady who has caught my attention before! She has such a loving, badass, well put together energy! She is walking with a police man but is rolling her eyes and engaging with me through the window!
What’s going on?
It looks like she wants to talk.
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE, PHOEBE!
She enters the coffee shop.
I turn... “you all good!?!”
She sits down!
“Are you okay? Why was that policeman with you?”
“Oh, that’s my husband!”
“I needed him to help me take some photos for my work project but he’s too busy.”
“What!!! I’ll help you!”
She runs an Instagram account, where she shares the test knitting projects she’s working on in collaboration with knitters!
“I’ve been using Instagram forever! This knitted cowl matches me! Can I be your model?”
We take some photos.
We speak the same lingo!
She shows me around the online knitter community.
She pulls out her knitting and teaches me about stitches!
I am interested!
We chit chat, girl talk for over an hour!
I am so surprised and proud of myself when I become present and see that I am having a real conversation with someone.
She confesses that she is super shy so doesn’t usually talk like this with people!!!
I tell her how I was challenged today to break through my barriers and make a girlfriend!
She tells me how she actually was walking over to the coffee shop in hopes that the girl, Phoebe, who works at the coffee shop, could snap a quick photo for her.
I didn’t even work today but happened to be sitting in there!
Sitting in there, actually waiting for her!!!!!
She sends me the photos over text, we hug and she HANDS ME THE KNITTED COWL AS A GIFT!
My jaw dropped to the floor.
I just kept saying “WHAT! WHAT! WHAT!”
“Thank you Phoebe, see you around.”
I pop the scarf over my head, (just about faint) and prance up to the counter where my INCREDIBLE women co-workers are standing.
“I love working here! I’m so grateful for this job! I can’t wait to come in to work tomorrow!”
The comfortable chats turn into... “we should form a girl band and perform here in the coffee shop!”
Feeling a hole in my being, fill with love and belonging.
Now Phoebe, I challenge you to say “YES” to the next friendship outing you are invited to.